Wonders

 

This is Thunder, I wrote an article about him

It makes my mind stunned how a piece of information or a sentence about a discovery can change the equation. Knowing ourselves and what is really behind our triggers doesn’t only help us find peace, but also helps us find out that some people didn’t mean anything to us in that context. They came to trigger something in us so we can go on a discovery mission, knowing more about ourselves, what we lack, and what we really need to give attention to.

The red flags are obvious, but we don’t see them because we are looking to fill the void within, so we give away our freedom and abandon our boundaries, only to find our energy depleted. Some keep going in the self-abandonment because they may not have the energy to fight it, or they have already given up on how it should feel. It doesn’t matter anymore. But what is life without ups and downs, new chapters, and new visions?

My energy has been rising so much since my last session with my therapist, and I just love how I am feeling at the moment. Going back to sleeping properly, writing, exercising, making dinners for friends, and having those cozy evenings that I love so much. Back to my fermentation and producing good products, thinking of new possibilities and how to make them happen.

Whatever we are looking for outside ourselves is there within. If someone tags along and shares that with me, hell yeah, but if not, I lose nothing. That’s what I am working on now: knowing that you are going to get out of this vicious cycle of why and how, the thing that keeps us fighting and keeps us trying. Being honest with ourselves is how we transform and evolve. We attract what we need to work on because when I really look at what I have gone through in life in general, it was all triggering things that I needed to see and face, things that took away the joy of life.

It gets harder, I shall say. Going deeper into ourselves is the biggest challenge I always face, but I never get tired of it. When I started my therapy again, I asked my therapist, “Why does it hurt so much? Why can’t I get out of this rollercoaster?” She said, “Because we usually pile up a lot of emotions that have nothing to do with the heartbreak, and that’s why it feels endless.” When we started figuring out the triggers and doing some homework, this clarity came hitting me like thunder. After this, I could differentiate between my own pain, the heartbreak, and the other person’s traits, and I could see why I believed things that were not true or intentional.

This peace that comes with clarity is priceless. I can’t really share every single piece of information from my sessions, but I don’t mind sharing the parts that I know would help someone else figure themselves out.

One of the things I got to know in a more detailed and elaborated context is that childhood wounds are not fixable. The feelings are not replaceable. You just need to figure them out as they are and accept the fact that it is what it is. Accept, forgive, and move forward. And every time you get triggered, go back to that period and do the same process again.

Our brain is wired and coded with patterns and feelings, and it does take time to rewrite the outcome of those triggers. With time, it changes. And yes, grief still goes hand in hand with the exploration. You still grieve the love you had in your heart, the genuine care and commitment, but you stop grieving the other person. And when things fall into place, it gets easier and recovery is faster.

Psychology is one of the things I appreciate the most, and I am very lucky with my therapist. She is amazing, and how she gets me to see things is mind-blowing. We had a good laugh last session when I had the bulb light up with clarity. This moment of revelation gave me a high dose of dopamine, and when things fall into place, you start seeing how you drop the bad habits and things that you don’t enjoy doing.

She said, “Have compassion for yourself as much as you have for others, or even more. Be patient with yourself and stop being harsh with yourself.” And that is true. We should have more compassion for ourselves.

Anyhow, I had pretty good two weeks, and I am feeling good, active, and smiling again :)

Have a good day, people.