CHANGED

I have changed. I can't put my hands on the change, but something in my soul has shifted after the loss of Little Boy and the 72-hour fasting.

I'm not sure what it is, but I can feel it. The grief has settled deep where I can't reach it, giving me subtle heartache. And with the clarity of mind that comes from the three-day fast, I've been able to let go of things that no longer serve me, all complemented by acceptance.

I can't really explain how or what I feel because it's new to me. I'm still exploring, trying to figure out if I am truly comfortable in my own skin or if I'm hiding unprocessed feelings. We only truly know ourselves when we observe and pay attention to how we feel and how we see things.

After the three days, I didn't feel any immediate difference. I told myself that I hadn't really changed anything in my daily routine except for not eating. But now I think the fasting has been working on a deeper layer of my consciousness that I'm not even aware of.

The human mind is complex and holds so many layers of experiences, inherited traumas, and vivid memories. There are things that have been said or heard, or that we've been through, that stay with us, lodged in our brains. Some of us choose to organize and clean out that clutter, while others decide to carry all the baggage without ever working through it.

I feel like I'm a work in progress. I feel like I'm getting closer to my true self. I no longer accept what I don't want, and I only do things that I truly want to do.

I will share my thoughts as they come, but for now, I'm going to bed.