The lost love

 

Vulnerability has been present since we first met in 2018. We had an eye contact that felt deep in the moment, like we connected on another level, or our subconscious had a connection, even if it wasn't romantic - there was a feeling of connection.

In 2024, something triggered that connection again. I can't deny this deep attraction to spending time with you, doing things together, and creating memories and good times. Our previous attempt at being together didn't work, for many reasons, but there is something that needs to be explored and understood. I'm not there yet, but I'm sure that in the right time, things will reveal themselves.

I didn't have any attraction to anyone after you. For me, it was a time to explore more within myself and figure out what I want, what I can tolerate, and what I won't. There's something about you that makes me feel safe and protected, and that's a gap I seem to miss.

Your tenderness is irresistible. Your sharp mind and attention to small details are beautiful. I know you're struggling, but that seems to be a choice, and you keep choosing to suffer every time you have a way out, as if you're addicted to the pain.

I see you, and I see through you, and it makes me sad to see the pain in your eyes. When I look at the version of you that chooses yourself over anyone else, I wish for you to have the clarity and for this illusion to go away. I pray for you to have the strength to move on and see the love that you can surround yourself with if you just love yourself more.

I have to confess that I didn't feel like I missed you until we met two days ago, and our eyes connected once again. Then I knew you had left only kind memories in my heart.

These human hearts of ours suppress the feelings of love when we're scared of the pain of separation. But then, one moment after a long time, those feelings are triggered, and you feel it in your sacral and this discomfort in your heart, and you wish you had kept yourself isolated and away, so you wouldn't feel a thing. Human nature is so complicated.

Have a great day, everyone.