Bonjour madame

 

We had a beautiful evening with my sister and our little family. We learned a new card game, and it was hilarious. They loved my vegan coconut cake, and luckily, I made it vegan because I figured they were fasting, so everyone had a treat.

In the back of my mind, I had this nagging pain that I couldn’t quite piece together until this morning. Rita asked me what the matter was and why I was short-tempered. I told her about the two men and the girl I saw at the beach while I was walking my dogs. One of the guys was sexually assaulting the girl while the other stood there watching. She managed to escape from the car, and my dogs ran because she was screaming. The whole scene was disgusting and scary. They were drunk, which is why people shouldn’t drink, to be honest.

The situation ended with the other guy apologizing to the girl and comforting her, and then they left the beach. In my head, I was asking myself: Does it give him an excuse to rape her just because she’s drunk? Absolutely not. There is no justification for anyone to act in such an animalistic way toward another human being—or any living being, for that matter. Justifying it because she was drunk with two men doesn’t give them the right to take advantage of her.

This, combined with the situation with my neighbor and the attacker, was there in my subconscious, causing me discomfort and anxiety. I wasn’t even aware that it was showing on the outside. Long story short, I’m evaluating my connections and figuring out how to let this go. It’s not easy, but I’ll do it.

Back to our game night—we had so much fun. I really love gaming; it makes me feel so good. Being able to gather, have a few good hours playing and laughing, and eating together are blessings that should be appreciated. I’m grateful for that, and I’m aware of it.

Here I am, vulnerable and not hiding it. I’ve learned through my experiences that the way to healing is to address the issue, and from confessing to oneself, healing begins. It’s an everyday process; it never ends. It’s great to be aware and see the transformation that healing brings.

Love you, sis, and love you, little family.

Have a good day, everyone.