And I thought it was love

Tracking my mind my heart and my soul, to be a reminder in a moment of weakness, and maybe it would help someone else not to feel alone in a time of letting go of loved ones

24.05.2026

You said you don’t know what love is, and that was heavy 

25.05.2026

I vanished in your chaos 

I focused on organizing you while I forgot myself 

Suppressed my worries to keep you grounded and moving forward 

Lost myself in the process, I worked alone on us while you made it so difficult to deal with anymore 

I didn’t see it while I was inside because I considered your success is mine 

I am grieving yes but not you, I am grieving my heart that trusted what you said was true and deep 

Moving on even it’s hard to face the new reality after you disappear from the picture but I understand that it wasn’t good enough for me. 

27.05.2026

You came to my life when you had time, you left when your life was fullfilled, and you left me alone while I was vulnerable 

You didn’t hold the space for me while I felt down and drained, I felt alone with you 

I felt I was your entertainment when life was empty 

You didn’t even say sorry I didn’t mean to cause you pain 

28.05.2026

I feel my heart were deceived by fake words, you said what I wanted to hear, you knew what to say always in the right time and because it felt safe I believed you 

I know walking away was the right thing to do for myself 

I am angry

29.05.2026

I am silent today, my brain is silent 

30.05.2026

Even when I tried to write next to you, you didn’t respect my boundaries you distracted me multiple time when you took a break from your work so I couldn’t do what I like around you 

In the day I let go of you I gave you very short thoughts to read and you said: why you write why you don’t say it. Because if you have ever listened to me you would have remembered that I told you I can express myself better in writing, You kept scrolling up and down in a desperate attempt to get it over with like you can’t stand focusing for 5 minutes for someone you once told you are different you touched me in ways no one else did 

I didn’t leave you because you were busy 

I left because I didn’t have a space to stand next to you because it was all about you but to this moment you told your father that it was because of work which is not true but well from the beginning I remember I kept telling you listen to me but sadly you listened only to yourself 

But I don’t blame you, I blame myself because I didn’t listen to voice in my heart that told me it’s not right from the first day when I didn’t grieve The man who let me know that I can open my heart again and believe in love again and started something new, the man who was curious enough to read my articles to get to know me, the man who checked my artwork carefully, the man who cried like a baby when he had to tell me that he doesn’t feel the same anymore and felt so sad about it 

Even when I let go of you, you wanted to give me a time frame for my grief, but I don’t think I will ever be part of your life again because you see no one but yourself, everything has to be controlled.


And as I always say It is what it is I accept and I know it takes time but life goes on, 

I think the hardest thing about letting go is that you are intentionally deleting someone from your memories specially when planning to the future was big in the relationship.