Wounded

 

The most harmful people are those who live in denial of the damage they went through during their childhood. They either don’t know, or they know but can’t face it. They live in the lie that all is OK, despite who is being hurt in the process.

I have always had compassion for those who are fucked up mentally and emotionally, addicts, or those abandoned by society or themselves, serial killers, rapists. And don’t get me wrong, I am not saying what they do is OK, but if you dig deep, you will find a wound that is so deep and painful that it affected their ability to love and have compassion. They couldn’t face it, so they decided to punish society for its silence against the abuse they went through, and they kept their eyes closed and their mouths shut.

The same goes for those who are emotionally abusive, who can’t love or be vulnerable because they were deeply wounded: avoidant, narcissistic, anxiously attached, and the list is long. They have been through something that changed their wiring and how they see emotions. It becomes a survival mechanism. They feed on others, they seek validation and love because this is how they cover for the lack of self-confidence and lack of real emotions.

And that can be us at some point in our lives. But here comes resilience and consciousness, and we ask ourselves: are we going to do the same as what was done to us and just create more of this sick society, or are we going to stand in front of this mirror and face it? Because in the process of avoiding our wounds, we lose so much joy and love in this life.

I have happened to be working on emotional safety outsourcing to fix what has been lacking and missing in childhood, but my therapist said, “What is gone can’t be replaced or fixed.” The only choice standing here is to accept that it’s gone and not fight it. Just when this came to my awareness, I knew which direction I had to take. And believe me, however hard this is, it’s worth it, because you know what you have to do next time you have someone by your side.

For that part, life is a journey of self-discovery through others mirroring us, and the choice is in our hands.

And when we are at peace with ourselves, we will find those who are also doing the work and ready to walk next to us into the next chapter of this life, moving with grace and acceptance. This is when no one is feeding or expecting anything from the other except honesty and truth. No manipulation and no lies, no pretending. It will be peaceful because they took the decision to settle on that connection and work through each one on their own but in parallel, because the safety and love are there inside us. And when that reality and fact sunk into my head, my perspective of the whole idea of relationships changed.

And I give myself credit here for keeping up the work on myself and not backing out. I feel that lightness every time I get to know something new about myself and how that changes life in my eyes. It gives me more compassion and makes me more forgiving, because, boy, the human mind and the damage that happens to kids that creates their reality needs all the compassion and love in this world.

That’s been my train of thoughts and observation this week, and I am grateful that this is my journey because, at the end of the day, I judge no one and I sleep with my heart full of love and no resentment.

Have a great day, people.