I Am a Victim

 

Italy, Roma 2026

The victim within—the identity we use to cope with life, the story we tell, the horrible childhood, the love that treated us badly, the people who mistreated us or betrayed us—they are all stories we use to identify ourselves. But they are just stories. They are in the past. They create patterns and habits until we choose to break free and decide they no longer have power over us. They happened, and God, if there is a way to change the past, I think we would choose exactly the same journey, because this is who we are now.

We signed that contract before we were sent here, I assume. We chose to go through that and learn, and either we own it and accept that this is who we are—not a victim, but a human meant to go through this journey to learn and break free from old beliefs, patterns, and experiences we thought identified us—or we choose suffering and victimize ourselves. And what a horrible and poor choice that is.

Being honest with ourselves, questioning our thoughts, and facing them with no fear is the road to liberation. It takes time, a lot of work, and a tremendous amount of honesty with ourselves, because we are here not to prove our worth to anyone but ourselves. We owe that to ourselves.

I lived 46 years on this planet asking why they did this or that, why I didn’t deserve that, why , it should not have gone that way, and on and on… But as a matter of fact, what people choose to do or how they treat us does not identify us or reflect who we are. It is their best of ability at the time being, what they know best. If they hurt you or did something bad, it wasn’t intentionally to hurt us, but it’s their own wiring. Does that mean you deserved that? No, you didn’t. But they also didn’t do it because of you, but because they haven’t seen the truth about themselves yet, and they might not.

I have been documenting my triggers because I needed to know what was behind them, and that was a great lead-in to my therapy: to reflect on them, face them, and be very honest about why it felt that way and where it was coming from. With this process, I found freedom because I knew the root problem and didn’t question the symptoms. I looked really deep and felt with it.

I asked him, “Do you love me?” I waited for an answer because, at this time, I needed validation. I needed to feel that I was worth loving from outside myself. That broke my heart so badly, but it wasn’t about whether he loved me or not. That triggered this wound that I was never loved, that what I thought or what I had to offer wasn’t enough, and that I had to give so much to be worth receiving love. But when we face the triggers and don’t shy away from them, we find the truth that leads to soul freedom. You are everything you need. People come and go. They don’t add to us, and they don’t take away from us.

And when I admitted to myself that I am not a victim of my story because it’s just a story, it’s done and gone, and now, being dusted, it no longer has power over me—no seeking validation or connections or whatever I was looking for outside myself. I am who I am, and I am enough for me. There is no fear of rejection or avoiding, because just from one week to the next, the shifts that are happening are massive because I chose to commit and not run away when it gets hard.

So, people, get out there and remember: it’s just a story. It’s not who you really are.

Have a beautiful day.